For nearly one and half years, I spent 1 - 5 hours most nights studying pick-up material.
I practiced picking-up women - or trying - mainly on weekends resulting in some of the
most hilarious, side-splitting moments you can imagine. I learned the hard way, the very hard way.
I am Brad, nice to meet you!
- September 29th, 2008 |
- 10 Comments
Five ways to dramatically improve your game
Some people can make PU very complicated, breaking down all aspects of interaction and looking at the ‘value’ what people do and say. I don’t feel that this approach is in any way constructive, and merely serves to overcomplicate and confuse things, which is going to hold back your improvement.
I find that I get the best results when I simplify things with students, which is why I’m sharing what I consider to be the five most fundamental elements of improving game.
1. Don’t make excuses not to approach
People love to make excuses for themselves. Students often say that they’re too tired to run game in the evenings, or that they don’t live in a good area, or that they don’t have a wingman to go out with. There will always be excuses not to approach. Remove them.
2. Get a new look
If you haven’t done this already, make sure you start dressing well. If you have no idea how to do this, then go to your local newsagents and buy some men’s magazines which contain fashion pages that you can copy. Go to some fashionable high street stores, and look at what the mannequins are dressed in. Copy it to the letter if you’re not sure, or simply ask the shop assistants for their advice. Go to an upmarket hair salon and ask them what they think would look good for your hair.
3. Set yourself goals
What are you trying to achieve from game? Sleep with lots and lots of women? Date only the best looking women? Get a girlfriend? Loose your virginity? Whatever it is, write down what your long term goal is, and then write down what steps you are going to take to get there. For example, rather than just saying to yourself ‘I want to get a girlfriend’, and then getting anxious about not having one, write down the steps that you are going to take to improve your chances of getting a girlfriend. These may include expanding your social circle by joining various clubs and hosting more parties etc. Tick off these smaller goals as soon as you pass them, and then concentrate on the next stage. It will help keep you motivated and focused to see yourself improve, and you are more likely to achieve your long term target if you tackle it in stages.
4. Slow down your speech, and speak slowly, and leave pauses
Speaking slowly is a key part of being confident in any social interaction, and it’s also a big part of being seductive. So many students talk fast when they’re in set, and they cannot help but fill any pause in conversation with nervous chatter. Don’t do this! Make a mental note to try and speak extra slowly in at least one set each day, and to leave more pauses than you usually would, then analyse how different you feel in these sets compared to others. You will probably notice that you feel more confident and in control, and you may also notice that girls will happily fill the natural silences that happen in conversations.
5. Use kino
‘When should I start using kino?’ is a question that I’m often asked, and my answer is ‘immediately’. Using kino is vital in building attraction and comfort, however it is not something that comes naturally to most men. Start using kino in your conversations by breaking your arms at the elbows and start gesturing as you speak, making a conscious effort to throw in as many light touches as possible.
Remember to make eye contact with the girl as you kino her, and to make your touches light and quick. Women are much more sensitive to touch than men, and so even when we think we’re touching them gently we may actually still be too rough.
Expect using kino to feel unnatural at first, but keep forcing yourself to do it, and you will soon find that you are doing it without thinking, and will therefore have a greater chance of building attraction and comfort, as well as forcing IOIs.
So, there you have my five simple points that anyone can incorporate into their game to start getting better with women. If you work on these simple points, rather than sitting in front of your computer memorizing a ton of material, you will find that your game will improve dramatically.
So what are you waiting for?
Brad
I have done ALL of this stuff and I still cant get past first base…sometimes not even that…It’s just impossible to game women….
Kevin, sorry to hear that you can’t get past first base despite doing all of these things. Have you thought about getting in-field coaching from a PUA?
You might find that they are able to pick up on your sticking points, and will be able to make sure that you are doing everything correctly.
Take care though, as there are a lot of dubious PUAs out there. Email me at puaadventures@gmail.com if you want any more advice.
Brad
Nice post, Brad.
This is KEY. I also have a similar series that I am working on in detail about transforming yourself.
It’s important that you take your time and follow these very simple steps. The hard part is actually getting the courage to do it. Once you’re out there, it’s easy.
Just remember that people who are genuine, strangers or not, will not want you to fail and will help you improve your life. So going to a store and asking a woman or man for fashion advice is great. They WILL help you and make sure you look good. Same goes for a highly professional salon.
Make the steps and do them now. The sooner you do this, the sooner you WILL get results. Trust me.
And to just give you a preview (if you haven’t done this recently), tomorrow go out and wear a suit. Clean yourself up as best as possible. Notice how much confidence you have and notice how others can feel your presence. That is just a preview. You have limitless potential when it comes to this. Just make the decision that this is what you want and GO ALL OUT!
There is no other result but eventual success.
Brad,
I have been to two major bootcamps, had consultations, read all kinds of literature,ect…It’s still not good….This weekend was basically the same, did like 15 sets (night and day game) - one number (it was a fake), no emails,ect. I am becoming more and more convinced that women love confidence - but only from men they deem worthy to have confidence. If he is 6ft and moderately attractive and has confidence - thats good. If he like me 5′7″ and moderately attractive - thats bad. I appreciate the insight and the note, you guys write good material. I am just at a total loss….thanks
Fuck you kevin! you are so wrong!!!! I am 5′7” have a slight Indian accent and not any great looks..I have probably everything that are unattractive to women but I still do, becuase I am sharply dressed, fashionably edgy and watch my weight. I walk the room with a smirk, and I love it when women give me shit tests, it just goes to show they like me..its all possible!!! However, you are right a good looking 6ft guy will get more **opportunites** to get laid, but I have seen like 5 times out of 10 about how they mess it up because they dont have a good game plan.
FYI: I only work 2-3 sets in a night and I am guaranteed of a good number if not anything more. I dont even go out that much may be like once or twice a week. Hope this helps!
Black Sheep - first, thanks for the insults,that was really needed. Second, this is just my observations - yes there are ALL kinds of guys that do not have good game, but in all reality tall guys do have more opportunities and percentage wise get laid more. Its just reality….so in my travels, I found that height is the top attraction trigger and it is a very difficult thing to overcome - personality or no personality. You might walk around with a smirk but just how successful are you? I have no idea just like you have no idea what I have been through. I wish you luck as well.
great example man, i like to keep things simple as possible and you have some great outlined points in there. just approaching and getting a new style can help a newbie no end. please check out the link for pua classes where you can see live demos and training in london and uk.
rob
Yo Kev, you seem like you know what you need to do, and that’s great, you just need some calibration in your game to make things happen. First of all, avoid self defeating tendencies (”you guys write good material. I am just at a total loss”) since, they will only work against you and your gaming objectives. When you’re gaming, try not to think about the target. Instead of it, try to get some fun with the experience of gaming someone. It’s all about attitude and you already know it, you just forget about it sometimes.
Best luck for you.
P.S. Sorry for bad english.
Hey Dude,
A few of my wings have found The Department Of Higher Living - http://www.departmentofhigherliving.com to be a good place to start.
If you are looking for a wing or the latest seminar, its the place to jump on for people in , .
See you on there.
Cheers,
Seven